Revenge of the Spolsions.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is the sequel to the original films ultimate success. It increases everything the original had by 2. More Splosions, More implied Sex, more one Liners, more Megan Fox in more outfits, More Product Placement (any one else catch the Naruto Poster?) and more Autobots vs Decepticon battle royals. Personally I felt they only need more of one of those things. Guess which?

Generally in a review I would start out with a very small un-spoiled plot description. In a movie about special effects and action I could care less what the plot is. Unfortunately for the audience, Michael Bay (Director: Armageddon, Pearl Harbor) Really wants you to care. He wants you to care so much about his asinine senseless plot that he drags it out for over 2 and a half hours.

Michael Bay I believe has always wanted to be a respected film maker. That's why he created the overly bloated and historically laughable Pearl Harbor film. It bombed almost as bad as the actual event (to soon?) There is one thing he understands well however, making money. Megan Fox isn't so much a character int his movie as she is an inspiration for young pretty objects everywhere. See her Bend over a bike, watch her strip in front of a garage, glamor at her gorgeous eyes in the only scene shes covered. They say the Eyes are the window to the soul, well then Cleavage is the Door way to Big Box office Bucks.

Shai Lebouf the other star more or less at least has a memorable name. One the autobots and decipticons can't get enough of. SAM WITWICKY this, and SAM WITWICKY that, in booming drawn out tones. He repays the favor by shouting out there names as much as possible as well. I suppose what I'm getting at is there are actors but in this film but that doesn't really matter.

To make things worse, as in all Michael Bay films, any form of authority dances to the beat of a moron soliloquy. We have cops who are utterly clueless, Government officials who wave badges around but have no idea how a parachute works, and Parents who have no idea what the young hip drug Marijuana could possibly be. Parents who have lived through the 70s for crying out loud. Yes if you have any say how any thing goes considered your self a complete and utter moron in a Michael Bay movie.

Second a Michael Bay movie has to have a overly loud catch phrase toting over weight tokin' black guy. Apparently one wasn't available so Michale Bay in all his genius gave us to rambunctious street cred autobots who :Don't read so good" and "aint the foo's to be messing with". It was painful watching these two annoying characters trying to crack jokes. Why, it was suppose to be painful though "thats why its called an ass kickin', p***y". I didn't know why and I didn't want to be but I was deeply offended by these characters.

Michale Bay's Tour de Force has always been Splosions. The spolosions in this film are top notch. The Camera has been brought way back from the cliche Bourne style of fighting and you can actually see the robots fighting each other with great landscaping destruction to boot. Clearly the highlight of this entire film was Optimus going toe to toe with Star Scream, Megatron, and Random Victim Decepticon in the Forrest. That alone brings this movie up from Total garbage to Meh for me. Optimus Prime is Awesome. In Lamen's terms. 2-5 stars.